Ninjas vs. Monsters (2012 or 2015 depending on who you ask)

ninjas-vs-monsters-movie-poster-justin-timpane_5Ninjas vs. Monsters (2012 or 2015 depending on who you ask)

Genre: Action, B-Rate, Comedy, FantasyHorror

There are discrepancies in information between IMDB and Amazon about this movie. Too be honest this is the first time I have seen this in regards to a movie that I am reviewing. And there are many reviews that I started and never finished. I take this a bad sign.

Apparently this is a sequel to Ninjas Vs Zombies and Ninjas vs. Vampires. So if you want to watch the first ones by all means do. This movie might actually make more sense to you if you do. There is a brief sort of unclear re-cap at the beginning that things happened and history exists between the main characters. Oh, and a lot of people apparently died or turned into vampires……or something like that. I didn’t quite understand the whole re-cap even though I watched it twice. I may be trying to use too much brain power to process this movie. Or too sober. Time will tell at this point.

Looking at reviews of this movie before watching it I had hoped that it wouldn’t be such a let down, especially after learning that this is the third movie. To get funding for three movies should be a good sign right? The premises is an amazing idea and I literally jumped up an down with joy when I found it on Amazon Prime.

There is a laundry list of issues with this movie. The dialogue is terrible. It did have some clever references to horror pop culture like an ode to Army of Darkness and Misery. I really couldn’t figure out if they were trying to be campy or clever. The acting was almost as bad a the dialogue but occasionally redeemed itself. As actors you can only do so much with the material you are given. Look at Batman and Robin from the late 90’s as another example. If you were alive then you know were excited for this movie.

The editing (and possible the camera angles they had to edit with) did not make this movie feel professional in any way, shape, or form. A lot of the footage was shaky. The monster costumes felt like a high school play which was really a let down to me. And the gore was weak (it did get better gore wise toward the end but still felt like the held back in a lot of regards). If you deal with some of the other B-rate terrible things then a movie should make up on these capacities, especially the gore. These are why I like these types of movies. Gore and amazing monster costumes!

I will say they did hire good fighters for some of the ninja. But the difference with the rest of the cast was extremely noticeable. The fight choreography was good too. I did enjoy it. Especially the fighting in the last 30 minutes of the movie. Seriously, it was like 30 minutes of fight sequences. How else are you going to tie up a plot focused on a fight between seven ninjas and seven monsters. Especially if they are in individual fights and not a big brawl.

I feel that this movie was way longer than it needed to be. And the plot got ridiculous. They were really trying to make this plot clever but over did it in my opinion. This entire movie could have easily been in less than hour in my opinion. I do give them points for their efforts in trying at this plot.

I really wonder if this would have been more enjoyable, and easier to understand, if I had seen the other two movies first. It felt like the characters’ development would have been better understood. If I can track the other two movies for free I think I will try this movie again after watching them. But I won’t pay to rent or purchase them.

Defiantly check out the trailer below. It is a great trailer!

Did you have to cover your eyes? Not once. The gore was super weak. Would have been okay for basic cable.

Would this be a good drinking movie?  I recommend being drunk or getting drunk if you watch this movie.  I recently gave up drinking and I wish I hadn’t. This movie would have been better with vodka. Recommendation, monster themed gummy candies soaked in vodka!

Rating: Not Rated

Duration: 90 or 96 minutes depending on what website you look at.

Mala’s Rating: 3 out of 5. They tried really hard. So I up the rating for effort.

IMDB: 4.7 out of 10 as of 4/3/16

Amazon: 2.7 out of 5 stars as of 4/3/16. Available for rent, purchase, or Prime streaming. The first two are not available for streaming but available for purchase of DVD.

Netflix: None of the three installments are available at time of reivew

2 thoughts on “Ninjas vs. Monsters (2012 or 2015 depending on who you ask)

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